You’re Just Human

Imperfectly perfect.

Seen & Heard by Adoyo
4 min readOct 23, 2023
Photo by SIMON LEE on Unsplash

Hey there,

i know that life be lifing all the time. that sometimes nothing seems to make sense. when your ideal and real self feel like complete opposites, yet are you not the same person?

I know you have all these grand dreams for yourself and yes, you’re always thinking the best of yourself; at least your intentions are always (well, mostly) good. Because truth be told, our human capacity to be selfish and put ourselves first, is bottomless. That’s why we’ve got to keep it in check. God asking us to love our neighbour as ourselves is one strategy that can help with thinking the world revolves around us. I digress…

I know you care about how you present and yes, what others think of you does carry some weight and at times, it’s the thing you consider most before making a decision. I know this too well because I spent years being a perfectionist (currently in recovery. It’s not an easy thing to just shake off. sigh).

So, I’m not going to rain down the, “You should not care what other people think of you” gospel here, because even if I did, I know that’s not a genuine ask to make of you. It takes some work to learn to honour you more versus wanting to please everyone else. There’s grace here for you as you navigate that.

And that grace is what leads me to remind you that you are human who will keep having human moments, so take some of the pressure off and cut yourself some slack.

I am addressing you because you are only ever in control of you. You can not control how other people choose to show you but you can decide how you want to show up. And so, you have the power to choose to be kind and gracious to yourself as you navigate the ever evolving humaning experience.

I believe, that at your core, you really do want to be the best version of yourself and you do have all the best intentions. Because you are human, and flawed, you mess up. Things are not always as neat as you would like them to be and that can mess you up. Especially when you end up hurting people you care about. I mean, no one ever wants to be the douche bag that causes others pain. (Unless you are a psycho, which if you are, I’ll be praying for you) But honestly, the big percentage of humanity does have the best of intentions at heart.

So, going with the belief that you are a good person who messes up sometimes, I’d like to submit to you to be kind to yourself when you do mess up. It’s not an if but when you mess up. Because you will mess up. Because you are human.

Man is to err, so goes an old saying.

When you accept that it is inevitable, regardless of your best intentions, to mess up, then you can start being gracious with yourself and then, you can breathe a little easier.

You will let go of the pressure to always have things neatly wrapped up because guess what, sometimes the wrapping paper is just not enough. Or the tape disappears and you’ve got to improvise. I don’t know. Life happens and you are not in control of life. You are, however, in control of how you choose to respond to life and it’s happenings.

I just want you to know that you don’t always have to have it together. Let me correct that, you don’t have to fake that you always have it together, cos no human ever does.

The world won’t end because you forgot to dot an i or cross a t. I promise, I’ve tried it. No one even noticed it!

Of course, you have to be careful with the people in your life and not go around being irresponsible with them and calling it, “being human”. We have established that we are operating from the baseline that you are a good person who messes up, sometimes. Good people don’t go around hurting or offending others just because.

I don’t know. It just felt important to put that disclaimer.

You get the point.

This is just a reminder that you are just human and that means that you will have good and bad days. That you will do good and bad things. That you will get some things right and others wrong. That you are not defined by either of the moments or seasons, cos they keep changing. If anything, because you are a creation of God and everything He created is good, then being good is your default setting that just got corrupted. (If you don’t believe in God, I don’t know what to tell you).

So, when you read this, take a breather. Forgive yourself of something that’s been making you feel like the worst human ever. Cut yourself some slack about how you handled that situation. Have a cup of tea and purpose to always do your best and to have kindness and grace when you fall short.

Oookuuuurrrr!

xo,

moulding beauty

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Seen & Heard by Adoyo

Storyteller exploring human connection & identity, writing to make people feel seen, understood, and enough through personal essays, profiles & themed stories.