Are we just going to act like getting married is something that is forced down one’s throat? Like we play a lot as humans. Someone said, it’s the people who make a marriage, marriage does not make people. So you and your partner get to decide what you want your life together to look like. We need to own up that we buy into how Hollywood has romanticized relationships in general and that’s the premise we go into marriage with. So I think we need to take an honest look at ourselves and ask first, why do we even want to get married? And what does a healthy marriage look like? And what kind of partner is going to ensure we achieve the vision we have for a lifetime together? I mean, we vet job candidates better than we do people we decide to settle down with and then we get surprised when along the way they turn out some type of way. And this is because we buy into the romance side of things but yoh, love is patient and kind and not self-seeking, keeps no records of wrongs, is not proud and other characteristics. We plan for the wedding and fail to prepare for the marriage and we get surprised when it fails? If you fail to plan, you plan to fail, so why do we think marriage is any different? I mean, do you know sibling rivalries? And these are your flesh and blood and you still at times want to throw them off a ledge, how much more a stranger, brought up very different from you? Do you even understand how much work is involved? In short, we just need to be real with ourselves as humans, own up to our shortcomings and start doing and being better. Love is just one of the tenets needed for a marriage to succeed. It’s not the only one.

P.S. All relationships, all, often fail because of selfishness. So let that just sink in for a minute as well.

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Adoyo Molla

Adoyo Molla

writing through life | telling stories that will inspire, challenge and shift mindsets around relationships, self-mastery & personal finance.